Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
