i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
