you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
