tell your sister to shave her snatch
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
