Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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