Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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