You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
