What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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