theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
