did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
When are your genitals available?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
