can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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