Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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