..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
