I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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