She said her name was "party"
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
