What did we do last night that was yellow?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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