Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
