Soap is not a condiment
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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