I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
