There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
