absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
