I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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