i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
