if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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