We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
