Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
