Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
