playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize