let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
