And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
