It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
