we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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