What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
