There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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