i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
