dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
