How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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