420 ftw
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
