i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize