dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
