I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
