How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize