Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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