i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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