We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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