Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
