Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
