okay pat passed out under dana's car
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
