How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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