5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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