1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
