No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
