dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
