I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
