3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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