On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
false alarm. still invincible.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
