Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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