Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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