dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize