I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
