well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize