my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
