so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
